Friday, September 18, 2009

Winding, Driving, Perfect Timing *screeeeeeeeeeeech*, a.k.a., WE make plans, The Big Hand just laughs

As I greet today with my foot propped up, drinking some respiratory health concoction from a "Life is Good" mug (should I have chosen the "Life is Crap" one intead?), I don't know whether to chuckle at myself, or cry, or be simply astounded at how unbelievably humanly dim-witted I still am.
Today is the day I have anxiously anticipated and worked
really hard towards for some - eh, six months? ....And this is how I am starting it off?!
See.....according to
Tina's plan, I should/would be gathering "stuff," preparing last minute presentations, shopping at the local supermarket, ironing clothes, and probably being a wee bit nervous, but very excited, nevertheless. Today was to have been the inaugural event for my women's collective - Faces of Eve. seems
somebody had other plans for me!
I teeter between angry and amused as I envision this
somebody reaching down into my life as if it were that old 70's board game --- moving pieces like pawns, spinning the wheel out of turn, and even *gasp* drawing a "lose your turn" card on my behalf?! Wait just a damn minute! I don't know whether to stand up for myself or tip the table over and storm out of the room! Angry. Amused.
Oh! Sorry! Back to the reality that is
--- Life......
I sit and wonder (about today's event) --- "What the hell happened?!"
A review of the past few months (hereinafter known as "The Great Tsunami of 2009") reveals that I was indeed
present and hell-bent on staying at that game table. I did all the "right things" in preparation for this event.....investing time, energy and money (and this is NOT Monopoly, folks), creating, intending, yet - as I felt it slipping through my fingers - I continued to interrogate myself and even my cohort....."Is it the economy? Is it the day and time we chose? Is it the price? Is it the subject matter? WHY are we not getting the response I (the one in charge!) envisioned?"
One of the first things I did this morning, as I do many mornings, was to check the cycle of the Moon on my handy-dandy electronic moon calculator (that we attempt to calculate
Her every move by man-made electronic thingamabobs is humorous in and of itself, dontcha think?!). And, I must confess, my tone was a bit sarcastic as I spoke to "The Big Hand." "The New Moon - a time for new beginnings - how ironic, you Big Dumb Hand!" The fact that I had even gone so far as to pick the "perfect" day, according to the Moon cycle, for this event (but, until just now, had forgotten) shouldn't surprise me, I suppose. Yep, that's me! Angry. Amused.
*fidgets a bit. sips tea. sighs. ponders.*
Hmmmm......given the above, plus my reinjured ankle and "walking pneumonia" diagnosis, I suppose I could justifiably stay in bed and pout today. Yeah, that'll do it. And if "The Big Hand" or anyone else needs more I could throw in my herniated disks and empty nest syndrome. Yeah, that oughtta do it. And - just for good measure - there's always "The Great Tsunami of 2009." There! All perfectly good reasons to sit in a big ole pot o pout! That's what I'll do.
So, I now ask you, my friends, "How do I look in this pout? Is it my color? Does it slim me down a bit? Does it compliment my eyes? Is it 'me'?"
I hobble to my billowing-sheer framed window and notice a little bird on the fence. I actually get to see him in action as he sings his morning song. The Autumn acorn shower commences in my garden. Duke meanders in, his ball cocked sideways in his mouth, and plants his paws on the windowsill beside me. Amused.
I think I need to change my clothes.

1 comment:

squarepegperson said...

ohohoh, i KNOW these feelings..and i'm happy to see that you got to bird-noticing so quickly!! usually takes me WAY longer to get to the gratitude stage...

and about your plans, keep at 'em - you just never know..except that one thing we all seem to find always takes longer than you expect..WAY longer..adn lots more energy and money..

but that's ok..keep checking out birdies along the way, and noticing pure LOVE in your path (like your pup..) and it'll all come together..for sure!!

but ugh..there are no words that really smooth the hard stuff..i hear the hurt here..sending love